I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
