I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm at about main and main street
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
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