They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
