This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
