on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
