Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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