Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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