I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
