How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
