just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize