Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
The adults are the big ones right?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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