I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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