before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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