Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She tied me up with her honor cords...
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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