she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
