He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
this just has baby written all over it
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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