I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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