Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
