I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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