I hate your face
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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