i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
