I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
