I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
