Where did you get a picture of my penis
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
