Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
