I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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