batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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