ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize