i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
