I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
