I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
