its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
