You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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