i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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