you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
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