Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
