he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
