Plan B is the new Plan A
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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