Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
