I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
