dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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