porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize