The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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