We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I have already put on my inside pants.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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