dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
