yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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