So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
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there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
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You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
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