I am puke
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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