My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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