Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
