Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
