You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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