we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Randomize
