my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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