Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I forget how to act sober
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
