never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Still dying that you shit outside
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize