i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
